Today, as I entered into the gorgeous structure that is CASA, I felt the weight of being saturated with more thoughts, ongoing translations of expressions, expectations, and worries than any human head should want to hold. Would I be able to express how much I wanted to be a part of a certain project? Would they have room for me? Were my Spanish speaking skills even up to par for anything worthy?! Was it acceptable to make coffee if there was a coffee machine? Etc..etc..etc..I walked into the reception area and was told to wait in the back office as Nina was in a meeting. After saying good morning to Ana, a lovely lady who is also a coordinator (she does more than I can even say) and meeting Karin (a new woman who will be working in the office as well) I sat awkwardly in a chair and proceeded to pull out my tiny notebook and make pretend lists. I cursed myself for not bringing a book but then quickly wondered if that would be rude. No matter, I started to write down some phrases I wanted to be able to say in Spanish, hoped they were grammatically correct, and then moved onto doodling. I was able to do this for the next 45 minutes and was so freaking grateful for that time...to be able to just be present in the office, to realize that no one was offended by the fact that I was doodling while I waited. My feeling of desperately wanting to disappear into the wall and only reappear after I became fluent from some magical symbiotic connection with the cactus outside (you see how the mind can work) also began to subside. I started to just relax. Nina appeared by jumping through a window that was connected to the office by the courtyard and I was so delighted and surprised by her choice of entry that I laughed and almost cried...a little. The day proceeded to be, Ay dios mio,wonderful. I talked with Maggy, a woman who used to be an intern from OSU and is now starting up a project called Collectiva 41 (I'll write more about the meaning of this name at some point)with Migue, the other program leader. She gave me a slideshow of the project and what they hope to accomplish in the next year. I expressed how much I wanted to be a part of it and that I was willing to take on anything that would help. I wrote a little about it yesterday but the project is revolutionary for San Miguel and Mexico. Collectiva 41's goals are to start a community of LGBT youth that will eventually (along with an older leader) be run by the youth themselves. Maggy expressed that she wanted the youth to be a part of every decision making process in the program. From fundraising, to ways in which to recruit queer and transgender youth in the community, Collectiva 41 will be created by and for LGBT youth according to an ongoing definition of what is needed. Yes...I was blown away at what Collectiva 41 is creating and felt awe-inspired by the amount of work that Migue and Maggy had already done. Yes please may I work on this project! Maggie and I spoke about me taking on some of the fundraising aspects of the project as well as possibly helping to create a zine project. After leaving Maggie feeling elated and exhausted I proceeded to take part in various other activities (a bit too many to describe here but all were random and great). Nina asked me if I liked to write which I shouted out yes as I accidentally flung my scarf in my face, and she said that she'd like some help editing a letter she was writing regarding a collaboration with CASA and the writer's conference that is happening in San Miguel in February. She also wanted to know if I'd be interested in writing articles for The Atencion, which is a weekly paper in San Miguel that many people read, including the large ex-pat population here. Another yes followed by some hyperventilation and there it was. My first concrete assignment. Believe me, I'm completely aware that I did not do anything to deserve this opportunity but none the less, I'm feeling pretty good right now my friends. Espero que tengan un buen noche!
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