How does one fund raise? How do you ask for money? Why does asking for money make some of us feel nauseated or like passing out from panic? How were you raised to think about money? Does it feel good to give money to a cause you believe in? If it feels good to give money, why is it so hard to ask for money? These were just some of the themes we addressed in our fund-raising retreat today. I'll speak for myself. I'm a little terrified of money. Correction - I panic and at many times lose sleep over the "idea" of not having money. Perhaps it comes from being raised in low-income family. I realized at a very young age how incredibly limiting not having money could be. Obviously, I didn't need to have a wardrobe of Esprit clothes, a Swatch watch, or 17 kinds of shimmering lipstick. I sure as hell felt like a lesser human at the time because I didn't though! I started working at a very early age because I believed money equaled power. Money would give me the freedom to buy what I wanted. Money could provide an exit from my hometown. Money could help me escape. And I really thought at the time, that if I had a pair of $50 suede knee high boots to wear to high school, I was one step closer to being a successful actress in New York. HAHAHAHHHA!! Ah, the teenage years...the adult years, how very little they differ in certain regards. I still think money will bring me freedom. Not all the time, but often. Money for clothes, shoes, shiny toys, and cars...not so much. Today's money fantasies; being able to fix my teeth, having good health insurance, being able to take care of my Mom so she can stop working, a solid year to travel around the world. So what happens when I'm approached by someone with a binder or a clipboard asking me for money for a cause... I panic. "I can't, I don't have enough, I just walked out of Whole Foods with a $4.00 beverage that's supposed to make me healthy but I NEED it...so I can't give money to help... And then there are the times when I do donate. When I donate just a little bit more out of my comfort zone, to something that I believe in and love. I have never ever regretted it. I have regretted walking away from others. Even though by many standards in the U.S., I'm just a low income student, I am still able to give...even if it's $10. Being in Mexico and directly witnessing how just a little bit of money (meaning less than $2,000) can provide the income for a peer counselor for six months, has shifted my own beliefs surrounding money tremendously. I can give more. I want to give more. I would feel nauseated and like passing out from panic if I did not. To all the proud donors out there, thank you for believing in someone or something. Thank you for giving your support. Thank you for sharing money.